purpleman

It’s almost ready and I’m almost ready

Oof this project did not go as fast as I thought I did.  Partly it was overconfidence and learning whatever I needed to learn to make this happen but recently it has also been about fear.  I find, professionally and artistically, that once I finish something, I just hate it.  It’s not that I think my work is bad, but once I finish that work and I know there’s nothing left to do to make it better, I’m just done.

For that reason it’s been a lot easier keeping everything going on the professional side, where other talented people take my work and do whatever needs to be done next, while I move on to the next thing.  I wish someone else could take Moon Devils and go all around and talk about how it’s the greatest thing ever, because I’ve never been particularly good at that bit, and I know in my heart it’s not quite as great as I envisioned.

Fortunately there’s also a part after you’ve finished something where it takes on a life of its own and is separate from you.  You still see its flaws but can reflect upon it with affection and admiration.  You never really get to be a fan of it, but you at least get to feel like you are offering a product and not a piece of yourself, and whatever happens next won’t kill you.